I'm simple when I trust the Holy Spirit. I screw up when I trust myself.
People like simplicity. The Word of God is simple.
I confess: I get in the way of myself. "I...I....I...." I get in the way of the power of the Holy Spirit working in me, and I focus on the self. It is a form of pride.
Perhaps this was most evident in the case of 1 of the 3 homilies I preached on the same day: the 8am, 10am, 12pm Masses.
I prepared an 8-minute homily for each of the 3 Masses. It was polished and thought out for some time.
For the 8am and 10am, people seemed to react quite well and receive the message with open hearts (at least given the feedback I received after those 2 Masses).
After the 8am Mass, a professional public motivational speaker (who always greeted me at this Mass), said, "What advice can you give me for a talk I'm gonna give?" My mind went blank as I looked down.
After a few seconds, I thought of the Holy Spirit, and I without much thought replied, "Speak your heart. People can see when you're not yourself."
He hugged me and said, "I love you, bruh." In a sense, it was a critical message for me, too: Be yourself.
The same happened at the 10am. By the time the 10am Mass was done, as I greeted parishioners out the door, pretty much most people were thanking me for the preaching. One guy said, "You outdid yourself."
BUT the 12pm was different. No one said anything afterwards-- nothing good, nothing bad.
So what happened?
Here's what (a) I think happened and (b) I think should have happened:
What happened: I had to cut my homily due to a baptism. I planned for 8 minutes. I needed to cut it in half. But I was not myself. I was full of fear. Relying on my own efforts, I stuck to routine and my comfort zone. As I was up at the ambo, I started to just randomly cut out entire paragraphs during the 12pm Mass. The message was disjointed and choppy.
What Should Have Happened: I should have trusted the Holy Spirit, instead of rely on me, myself and I. I should have been myself, and I wasn't. After I chanted, "The Gospel of the Lord," the thought occurred to me to put the prepared text of the homily down. ....and to simply speak from my heart without my prepared text. I should moved away from the ambo (pulpit) and moved in front of the altar to preach a simple message. I should have spoken my heart.
So that's what happened and what should have happened.
Anyways, the story doesn't end there, because there must be some greater good that will result from my 12pm screw-up.
A couple of weeks after the 12pm preaching, as I reflected on what happened and how things could have been better, I went to the church by myself during the week (I was on vacay).
Nobody was in the church. I turned on the microphone and said what I should have said without my notes.
Like John the Baptist, I was "preaching in the desert" with no one listening.
A certain Fr. Brian once told me, "Have you thought about preaching without using a prepared text?" At the time, I dismissed it and only did this during the smaller daily Masses and not the weekend Sunday Masses. After all, the Fathers wrote their homilies and sermons, and we have some of them to this day. But for the 12pm Mass, Father Brian had a point here. And I missed the opportunity. I should have placed the text down.
Maybe, at some point, at the end of the homily, I should have literally and physically knelt in front of the assembly with hands claps begging for conversion towards strengthening the family.
Here is a recording of what that 12pm could have looked like:
So the message for preachers, but first and foremost to me is: Be yourself! Be who God meant you to be.
Deacon Pete Lobo, one of my brother deacons and mentors, said the same thing: Be yourself.
People will notice when you're not yourself.
Perhaps that's what they saw at the 12pm.
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POST-SCRIPT
Love is stronger!
"I'm Gonna Stand By You" by Rachel Platten
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The alternative title of this web blog is "Homily That Never Was (A Homiletics Lesson For Me)." This reflection is providential in light of this article from Homiletic & Pastoral Review surveying papal teaching on preaching HERE.
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