Helen Esperanza Catubig (1946-2016)

Final Moments Before Closing Casket
(Sat. morning before Funeral Mass, Nov. 5, 2016)
Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo
COVER PHOTO FOR BLOG

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Friday morning/afternoon, Oct. 28, 2016

Mama Helen's Home

(no photos available)

It was always Mama Helen's desire to pass away at her home.  And she did around noon.

Here is the story that appeared in Helen's bio which is reprinted in full below:

Helen returned home from the hospital on Friday, October 28.  It was the Feast of St. Jude, patron saint of impossible cases, and Tove Ann’s birthday.  During the ride home in the ambulance, Tove Ann quietly prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her mom.  When Helen arrived in the family room, family members immediately said, “You’re home, Mom!  Welcome home, Mom!” because they knew that it was her dying wish to pass peacefully in her own home.  Within minutes, as her son Daniel hung a crucifix above her bed, Helen took her last breath.  Stefanie Jane described Helen’s final moment as if “she took her last breath as a sigh of relief” for she was finally home.  Helen passed away during the Jubilee Year of Mercy.

The web log below contains snapshots/story of the funeral and the 40 or so days that followed.

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Friday evening, Oct. 28, 2016

St. Joseph's Church, Pinole

(after 6:30pm Mass)

Ernesto Catubig kneels in the Santo Niño (Baby Jesus) Chapel at St. Joseph's in Pinole after evening Mass.
Helen Catubig, his wife of 47 years, had just passed away earlier that afternoon.

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Friday night, Oct. 28, 2016

(Tove Ann's birthday)

After evening Mass, Helen's 5 kids gathered at her house.

Tove Ann's sister, Ate Marissa, prepared some cupcakes for Tove Ann.

There was a sense from the family to do this.

Then everyone prayed the rosary.

We gathered around the spot where Mama Helen's bed was placed when she died.

 

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THE DAY AFTER

Sat. evening, Oct. 29, 2016

5:30pm Mass @ St. Dominic's, Benicia

Numerous appointments were cancelled, and we spent the following day preparing.
We joined my sister-in-law, Marissa Catubig Niles, and her husband, Aaron, for Mass.

 

A lighter moment: I recorded a video of my tickling Baby Hope.

I ran into a former co-worker during my days at the Oakland Chancery at a father-son outing event.  His name is Joe Murray.  He and his wife Peggy are pretty active at their parish somewhere in the Oakland Diocese.

I told Joe of the news of my mother-in-law's death.  They're not Filipinos, but Joe said Peggy once told him, "When I die, give me a Filipino funeral!  You get the novenas, the rosaries, the Masses, the 40 days.  I want people praying for me when I die."

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Services were announced.

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Vigil of All Saints, Veneration of Saints Relics

Monday evening, Oct. 31, 2016, after 5:15pm Mass

St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church, Vallejo

Afterwards, we gathered again at Mama Helen's house. 

In this photo, Kuya Don (my brother-in-law) and Ate Marissa (my sister-in-law) kneeling in prayer.

I was asked to bless the house.  In addition to Holy Water, I also used Blessed Salt. 

We also did some Deliverance Prayers and the family said some prayers to heal the family tree.

This is a picture of the 5 kids gathered around their dad, Papa Ernie.

We prayed especially for Papa Ernie.

As part of preparations, Mama Helen's kids developed matching memorial sweaters.
I felt like the 9 days after Mama Helen's death were peaceful and comforting.

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1ST DAY OF VIEWING
Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016
Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo

Helen's body lay in state.

  

My sister, Michelle, visited.  Here she is greeting my brother-in-law, J.J.

Tove Ann led some prayers.

My sister, Michelle, offered to keep an eye on our kids.  Thanks, Michelle!

  

A first run of a slide show by Ate Marissa on Helen's life was presented.  I heard sobs.

 

 

 

My mom and Papa Hardie drove up from my boyhood town of Milpitas for the first viewing.

 

People came throughout the day. 

I saw their names written in the guest book, even though I didn't see them in person.
I am grateful that they came.  That's why it's important to sign funeral guest books.

 

My Mom says good night for the first viewing.

Resting at home later that night w/Baby Hope

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SECOND DAY OF VIEWING
FOLLOWED BY FIRST FRIDAY MASS
&
VIGIL FOR FUNERAL MASS

Friday evening, Nov. 4, 2016

St. Catherine's, Vallejo

Fr.Gerome Hernandez was celebrant for the First Friday evening Mass.

Before the Vigil, we invited people to come join us for prayers for the eternal repose of Mama Helen's soul.

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FUNERAL VIGIL

Friday evening after 7pm Mass


Later that evening, I led the Funeral Vigil.
My brother deacons and their wives joined us. 

Thank you to Deacon Pete & Agnes Lobo,
Deacon Raffy & Daisy Rey (parents of my former student Derek Rey),
and Deacon Juan & Olivia Moreno. 
Deacon Jose Rubio was in the congregation.
Deacon Bobby Peregrino stopped by after teaching a class.

At the end, Tove Ann gave the eulogy.  I wish I recorded it.

Homily #79: Vigil for Helen Catubig
(In my homily, I emphasized that offering Masses for Helen's soul is a great act of love.)

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BRIEF CATECHESIS
ON WHAT HAPPENS AT THE MOMENT OF DEATH

Here's a brief catechesis (religious instruction) on the 4 Last Things:

Death, Judgment, Heaven, Hell.

When someone dies, the soul is immediately judged by Christ.  The soul enters into one of 3 states: Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.  This is called Particular Judgment.  Yes, Hell is real. 

The Particular Judgment is different from the General Judgment.  At the end of the world, when Jesus Christ returns in glory at his Second Coming, those in Heaven are reunited with their bodies in the resurrection.  Those whom we know are in Heaven are canonized by the Church as saints. 

Having been purified in Purgatory with what St. Paul calls a burning fire from imperfections before seeing God face to face, those in the state of Purgation "eventually" go to Heaven at varying moments.  They, too, are re-united with their bodies at the resurrection along with those in Heaven. 

Purgatory is temporary and ends.

Those damned to Hell at the Particular Judgment don't receive a glorified body as the saints are resurrected, but they undergo what the Book of Revelation calls a "second death" at the General Judgment.  They suffer from their separation from God forever; physical torments are secondary.

Christ the Judge will separate the sheep from the goats.  It will be a terrible day!

Our task now for the deceased is to pray for them if they are in Purgatory.  They are both happy (because they know that they will "eventually" see God face to face) and sad (because they "do not yet" see God face to face). 

The best way the living can help souls in Purgatory is to have Holy Mass offered for the repose of their souls.  This is the beauty of the Communion of Saints.

You can have Mass offered by calling any local Catholic church parish office or ask a priest.

If a soul is in Hell, no prayers -- not even Holy Mass -- will do anything for them.

Now, the number 40 is important and has biblical roots.  But the 40 days of prayer after death is more of a Filipino cultural tradition with some pre-Christian practices.  (Orthodox Christians have something similar, but that is outside the scope of this catechesis.) 

Prior to the evangelization of the Philippine Islands, there was a cultural mindset in pre-Christian Philippines that the soul somehow remained for 40 days on earth and even haunted the living after that time.  Of course, as Christians, we don't believe the dead haunt the living. 

We believe in the what I described above about Particular Judgment.  It is in our 2,000 year old Creed.  And even the Jews believed that it is wholesome to pray for the dead in 2 Maccabees.

So.... the 40 days pre-Christian cultural belief (and even superstition) should be "baptized" to mean prayers for the dead during the 40 days (not because the souls linger around). 

Again, the soul does not haunt the living and undergoes Particular Judgment at death: Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.  Those are the only 3 states they are in. 

The Catholic teaching on the "4 Last Things" should purify the cultural elements.  Retain what is true and purify was is not.

I hope this helps.  Send me a message if it does not.

 

 

We formally closed the Vigil ritual.

I invited others to come up and speak.

Kuya Don, my brother-in-law said some words, along with a former student of Mama Helen. 

Helen's former student spoke for her former students and asked them to stand which they did. 

As a former high school classroom teacher myself, this edified me to see former students there.

Tove Ann's cousin, Cheryl Medina, spoke, too.

They spoke beautiful words.

Thank you to Gene Leoncio and the Catholic Youth Ministry (CYM) Mothers assisted with the family's hospitality at the Parish Life Center.

Thank you to Fr. Resti, Sis. Chris Bolko, and Sis. Thelma Tamayo for supporting the family with services, the funeral scheduling, and arrangements.

  

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FINAL PRIVATE FAMILY VIEWING

Sat. morning (before Funeral Mass), Nov. 5, 2016

Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo

 

Helen's 3 Daughters (Marissa, Tove Ann, Stefanie Jane) by Helen's coffin

These are my favorite pictures out of all the pictures my son, John Paul, and I took.

 

Here is the procession to the church for the Funeral Mass.
The 5 Catubig kids were w/Papa Ernie in J.J.'s Escalade.

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FUNERAL MASS

Sat. morning, Nov. 5, 2016, 10am

St. Catherine's Church, Vallejo

Tove Ann sang "Santo Nino," a song that Mama Helen sang to them when they were kids.

I don't have any more Funeral Mass photos at this time.
If you have any, please send me some.  I will be sure to give proper credit.

Fr. Resti Galang was the celebrant of the Funeral Mass.
Fr. Gerome Hernandez concelebrated.  Thank you, Father Resti and Father Gerome!
I assisted Fr. Resti, along with Deacon Rudy David.

One message from Fr. Resti's preaching on St. Paul: We do not weep as pagans do, but we weep with Christian hope in the "resurrection of the death and life everlasting."

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PROCESSION TO BURIAL SITE
(with escort by Villeside Motorcycle Club)

One of the members of Villeside MC played Boyz II Men's A Song For Mama.

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RITE OF COMMITAL
All Souls Cemetery, Vallejo
(after 10am Funeral Mass)


The pictures were taken by my son, John Paul.

 

Video: Part of Rite of Commital

  

Video: Blessing w/Holy Water

Video: Tossing Flowers on Lowered Casket

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L to R: Fr. Gerome Hernandez, MSP (Parochial Vicar, St. Catherine's);
Deacon Dennis Purificacion; Fr. Glenn Jaron, MSP (Episcopal Vicar for Clergy)

Fr. Glenn came from the Sacramento Chancery (Pastoral Center).


Thank you to fellow clergy, esp. Fr. Resti, and to the Diocese for your support.

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SUNDAY GATHERING AFTER FUNERAL

Sun., Nov. 6, 2016

extended family

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VETERANS' DAY

Friday, November 11, 2016, 7:45am Mass

St. Catherine's, Vallejo

 

Deacon Juan Moreno, U.S. Army (ret.), preached an excellent homily on Veterans' Day.

My father-in-law, who is a combat wounded veteran with 2 Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star Medal with "V" (to name just a few), was present at morning Mass with us.

Thank you, Veterans, for your sacrifices and service in defense of our country!

After Mass, we went to All Souls Catholic Cemetery, Vallejo, to visit Mama Helen's gravesite.

 

 

Tove Ann w/her dad

Specialist Ernesto Catubig, U.S. Army (Ret.)
"Helicopter Soldier" & "Tunnel Rat"

 

 

 

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Sunday Morning Mass, Nov. 13, 2016

St. Catherine's Church

(after Mass)

Maureen DeVigal offered condolences to Tove Ann after Mass.

 

Fr. William Kinane, the priest who married me and Tove Ann, was the visiting priest.

I assisted him on Saturday evening the day before. 

He told me he would offer Mass for my mother-in-law when he returned to the retirement home.

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MASS ON THANKSGIVING DAY

Thursday morning, Nov. 24, 2016, 9am Mass

St. Basil's Catholic Church, Vallejo

After Mass, we visited the cemetery.

  

Kuya Don w/some of my kids

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40-DAY MARK AFTER DEATH

Wed. evening, Dec. 7, 2016, Vigil of the Immaculate Conception

Mama Helen's House

 

After praying the rosary w/five Catubig kids, we had Papa Ernie's famous hot Sinagang.

Papa Ernie put up a picture of his late wife and their 5 kids.
The frame below reads, "Family Forever No Matter What".

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40 DAYS PRAYER & CELEBRATION

Gaudate Sunday (Joyful Sunday) afternoon, December 11, 2016

Mama Helen's House

We attended an early 7am Mass at St. Vincent Ferrer in Vallejo with Papa Ernie.  We drove separate cars.  Papa Ernie and Tove Ann then went to prepare for the day.  The kids and I went home for a few hours to get ready.

It was most fitting for us to take out Christmas decorations on Gaudete Sunday (Rejoice Sunday or Joyful Sunday) b/c it is a day of joy.  These are not dead words for our family but a lived reality that permeates every aspect of our lives.... at least we try our best.  This is our little Christmas tree we've had, I think, since Tove Ann and I were first married.

 

I dropped the kids off and took John Paul with me to pick up just a little bit of pizza for the 40 Days Prayer Celebration.  Transporting these pizzas like this was JP's idea.

John Paul played by ear. 

This musical side definitely runs in the Catubig blood. 

I only have a few musically-inclined family members on my side of the family.

I recorded "Ang Tanging Alay Ko" to give John Paul some initial feedback.

John Paul learned the song on his own.

This song has deep roots in the family.

This is just a snapshot of part of the room that my son took.

This is my mom, Evelyn.

Losing my mother-in-law makes me think about my own mom.

(Here we are with my youngest daughter, Therese Maria Hope.  I just call her Hope.)

I didn't know JP recorded this. 

After the rosary and some family deliverance prayers Tove Ann led, I gave a blessing.

soccer w/cousins
(Geana & Aleya Catubig)

My sister-in-law, Ate Marissa "Esperanza" Niles, made ribbons to hand out. 

 

We love you, Mama Helen!

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+ Eternal rest grant unto the soul of Helen Esperaniza Catubig, O Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon her.

May the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Amen.

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HELEN ESPERANZA CATUBIG (Aug. 18, 1946 - Oct. 28, 2016)

DEVOTED WIFE, LOVING MOTHER & DEDICATED TEACHER

Helen Esperanza Catubig was born on August 18, 1946, to Monico Villatuya Esperanza and Patrocinio Reodica Romana in Makati City, Philippines.  Raised in a family with four brothers and one sister (Amor, Harry, Samuel, Ronaldo, & Ruby who passed away on Ash Wednesday 2015), Helen grew up in what she described as “an innocent, wonderful life in the Philippines.”  

Helen’s upbringing helped her overcome the obstacles of living in the U.S.  She attributed her success in America to her father who encouraged her to go to America and “get that education, despite the unknown hurdles.”  Also, Fely Bacani (her mother’s sister who passed away in 2015) was a “moving force” in coming to America.  Helen earned a B.A. in Psychology from the University of San Francisco and later earned an M.A. in Education while raising kids.

In 1969, she met and fell in love with Ernesto Antalan Catubig, a wounded U.S. Army combat veteran who lost his right arm in the Vietnam War.  “I will be your lost right arm,” she said to him.  On June 6, 1970, Helen and Ernesto became one through the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in San Francisco.  This year, they celebrated 46 years of marriage.  They testified to the great beauty and joy of marriage and family life. 

All 5 children were born in San Francisco: Marissa, Daniel, Tove Ann, James John, and Stefanie Jane.  They moved to Vallejo in 1988.  The parents instilled in their children the importance of God, family, education, and service.  In a text message in September, Helen wrote to one of her kids, “No matter what happens, you are my best kids in the world.  That, never forget when the time comes.”  She and Ernesto taught their kids how to pray the rosary even into their adulthood.  
Helen retired in 2005 after 35 years of teaching for the San Francisco Unified School District (Balboa High; Denman Middle; Longfellow Elementary) and is listed in Who’s Who Among America’s Teachers.  She served as an exceptional leader in numerous Filipino American community organizations in the SF Bay Area (e.g., Filipino Community of Solano County, Inc.; Fil-Am Retired U.S. Armed Forces Association; Sekder Day Pangasinan; Luisiana Association). 

Helen had a long battle with multiple illnesses, including Diabetes, Kidney Disease, and Congestive Heart Failure, to name just a few.  Over the past year, Helen was in and out of the hospital and rehabilitation center numerous times, which became longer and more frequent over the past three months.  She thought of others, especially her grandkids, during her illness.

Helen returned home from the hospital on Friday, October 28.  It was the Feast of St. Jude, patron saint of impossible cases, and Tove Ann’s birthday.  During the ride home in the ambulance, Tove Ann quietly prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her mom.  When Helen arrived in the family room, family members immediately said, “You’re home, Mom!  Welcome home, Mom!” because they knew that it was her dying wish to pass peacefully in her own home.  Within minutes, as her son Daniel hung a crucifix above her bed, Helen took her last breath.  Stefanie Jane described Helen’s final moment as if “she took her last breath as a sigh of relief” for she was finally home.  Helen passed away during the Jubilee Year of Mercy.

 VIEWINGS

Thurs., Nov. 3 * 1-9pm Twin Chapels Mortuary, 1100 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94590, (707) 552-6696

Fri., Nov. 4 * 2-5pm St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591, (707) 553-1355


PARISH SERVICES & VIGIL

Fri., Nov. 4 * 5:30pm Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Holy Hour w/Devotional Prayers & Benediction St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591

Fri., Nov. 4 * 7pm First Friday Mass St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Fr. Gerome Hernandez, MSP (The family asks for prayers at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.   The Mass intention will be for Helen Catubig.)

Fri., Nov 4 * 7:30pm Vigil (to begin the Funeral Rites of the Catholic Church) St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Deacon Dennis Purificacion  (Helen’s son-in-law)

[Refreshments will be available in the Parish Life Center from 2:30-9:30pm.]


FUNERAL & RITE OF COMMITTAL

Sat., Nov. 5 * 10am Funeral Mass St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Fr. Resti Galang, MSP

Rite of Committal (Interment) All Souls Catholic Cemetery, 550 Glen Cove Rd., Vallejo 94591, (707) 644-5209

Deacon Dennis Purificacion

Special Request: Before she passed away, Helen requested that people please wear the bright colors of purple, white and yellow at the funeral and avoid wearing black as much as possible.  Thank you.



HELPING THE CATUBIG FAMILY

Many people have asked how they can help during this difficult time.  Before Helen’s death, the national cemetery in Dixon was first chosen since there were no expenses for veterans.  However, after Helen’s passing, Ernesto changed his mind and decided he wanted the family to be closer to Helen’s gravesite at All Souls Cemetery in Vallejo instead.  This meant an unexpected significant increase in funeral costs.  Your assistance will help greatly during this time of need.  Your donations can be deposited/wired into Ernesto Catubig’s Wells Fargo account (Routing #121042882 & Account #610-664-8477).  Contact him for more information @ (707) 655-6804.  Thank you.

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THANK YOU LETTER FROM CATUBIG FAMILY


AMDG

   November 12, 2016

Thank you very much for your love, prayers, and material support during this difficult time.  You are truly an instrument of God’s providential love and care for us.  Thank you for your countless prayers, especially for the Masses offered for the eternal repose of Mom’s soul.  Thank you for your presence and presents, which continue to help our family, especially our father, Ernesto Catubig, to carry this heavy cross of losing Mom.  May God Our Father bless you a hundredfold for all the good you do for our family.  May you be richly rewarded in this life and in the next.  Know that you, too, are in our prayers.

   With love & gratitude,
   The Catubig Family
   (Ernesto, Marissa, Daniel, Tove Ann, James John, & Stefanie Jane)

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THANK YOU FROM THE PURIFICACION FAMILY!!!