Annual Family Christmas Newsletter

The Homily That Never Was

I am complicated by training.  But I am simple when childlike.

I'm simple when I trust the Holy Spirit.  I screw up when I trust myself.

People like simplicity.  The Word of God is simple.

I confess: I get in the way of myself.  "I...I....I...."  I get in the way of the power of the Holy Spirit working in me, and I focus on the self.  It is a form of pride.

Perhaps this was most evident in the case of 1 of the 3 homilies I preached on the same day: the 8am, 10am, 12pm Masses.

I prepared an 8-minute homily for each of the 3 Masses.  It was polished and thought out for some time.

For the 8am and 10am, people seemed to react quite well and receive the message with open hearts (at least given the feedback I received after those 2 Masses).

After the 8am Mass, a professional public motivational speaker (who always greeted me at this Mass), said, "What advice can you give me for a talk I'm gonna give?"  My mind went blank as I looked down.

After a few seconds, I thought of the Holy Spirit, and I without much thought replied, "Speak your heart.  People can see when you're not yourself."

He hugged me and said, "I love you, bruh."  In a sense, it was a critical message for me, too: Be yourself.

The same happened at the 10am.  By the time the 10am Mass was done, as I greeted parishioners out the door, pretty much most people were thanking me for the preaching.  One guy said, "You outdid yourself."

BUT the 12pm was different.  No one said anything afterwards-- nothing good, nothing bad. 

So what happened?

Here's what (a) I think happened and (b) I think should have happened:

What happened: I had to cut my homily due to a baptism.  I planned for 8 minutes.  I needed to cut it in half.  But I was not myself.  I was full of fear.  Relying on my own efforts, I stuck to routine and my comfort zone.  As I was up at the ambo, I started to just randomly cut out entire paragraphs during the 12pm Mass.  The message was disjointed and choppy.

What Should Have Happened: I should have trusted the Holy Spirit, instead of rely on me, myself and I.  I should have been myself, and I wasn't.  After I chanted, "The Gospel of the Lord," the thought occurred to me to put the prepared text of the homily down.      ....and to simply speak from my heart without my prepared text.  I should moved away from the ambo (pulpit) and moved in front of the altar to preach a simple message.  I should have spoken my heart.

So that's what happened and what should have happened.

Anyways, the story doesn't end there, because there must be some greater good that will result from my 12pm screw-up.

A couple of weeks after the 12pm preaching, as I reflected on what happened and how things could have been better, I went to the church by myself during the week (I was on vacay). 

Nobody was in the church.  I turned on the microphone and said what I should have said without my notes. 

Like John the Baptist, I was "preaching in the desert" with no one listening. 

A certain Fr. Brian once told me, "Have you thought about preaching without using a prepared text?"  At the time, I dismissed it and only did this during the smaller daily Masses and not the weekend Sunday Masses.  After all, the Fathers wrote their homilies and sermons, and we have some of them to this day.  But for the 12pm Mass, Father Brian had a point here.  And I missed the opportunity.  I should have placed the text down. 

Maybe, at some point, at the end of the homily, I should have literally and physically knelt in front of the assembly with hands claps begging for conversion towards strengthening the family.

Here is a recording of what that 12pm could have looked like:

 

So the message for preachers, but first and foremost to me is: Be yourself!  Be who God meant you to be.

Deacon Pete Lobo, one of my brother deacons and mentors, said the same thing: Be yourself. 

People will notice when you're not yourself. 

Perhaps that's what they saw at the 12pm.

* * *

POST-SCRIPT

Love is stronger!

"I'm Gonna Stand By You" by Rachel Platten

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The alternative title of this web blog is "Homily That Never Was (A Homiletics Lesson For Me)."  This reflection is providential in light of this article from Homiletic & Pastoral Review surveying papal teaching on preaching HERE.

My Christmas Meditation on Baby Jesus

After the Liturgy of the Hours this evening for the Feast of St. Stephen the Deacon-Protomartyr, I experienced a meditation moment of prayer that I have not had in a long time. 

It was like watching a movie, in a sense.  It was not a vision, but it was of the same species as that of my lectio divina meditations on the Gospels during my diaconate formation.

I gladly submit the following to the judgment of Holy Church, and I am happy to recant if anything is contrary to the faith and morals of our Catholic Faith.

+

I meditated on a teenage girl with a newborn.  They were in poverty. 

I was dressed in my gold dalmatic.  St. Joseph was not around.

I interiorly said, "Blessed Mother."  I then reflected on those two words.


As I approached the girl, I lowered my eyes because I felt myself not pure enough to be before her.  I wanted to go to Confession (even though I was not in mortal sin).

She turned to her left where an angelic being was standing and asked, "Who is he?"

The angel replied, "He is your servant."

She noticed the double dalmatic stripes on me and was familiar with them.  Roman servants also wore dalmatics with the same double stripes but she thought the stripes on my dalmatic were unusually large.  Regardless, she knew that I was a servant.

She then happily walked over to me, raised me up, and invited me to see her Son.

I don't remember her handing me the Baby, but at some point I held the Baby.  I was in wonder.  I was in wonder the way one would be with any newborn.

As a father of five who was present at the birth of all of my five kids, there is something about newborn movement that is slow and profound.  This was the first wonder I experienced.

This Baby was larger than my own five babies when they were born.  I pondered how this Baby was the Savior of the world.  I marveled at the Baby's slow movements.

I then looked in the Baby's eyes, and I saw wisdom!  Then, with his human baby eyes, I thought of how I was happy to give my entire life with its many hardships for this Baby.  I felt resolve.

I wrapped the Baby in my dalmatic.  I thought, "After all, this dalmatic belongs to You."   I wanted to keep the Baby warm.  It was cold the way it is cold outside now.

At some point, I next remembered what I believe is from Bl. Anne Catherine's meditations.  Bl. Anne Catherine said that during the Nativity, the Baby Jesus experienced blows upon his little personhood as if the blows were real.  He feebly tried to ward off the blows with His small hands.

At that thought, I thought of the rejections I've felt in my preaching which came to my mind's eye.  The rejections seemed to start with Homily #61 and continued to Homily #80.  I've been more bold lately, especially about the Church's moral teachings on life, family and marriage. 

The rejections were like being stoned or receiving blows.  Humanly speaking, no one likes rejection.

In my meditations, I arrived at another crucial moment.  I wholeheartedly said, "Yes."  This was climatic.  The sense was that I finally accepted these rejections as if they were blows intended for the Baby Jesus.  It gave me great peace (because I focused less on myself and more on the Baby).

As Baby Jesus was wrapped in the front part of my dalmatic, thusly, it wasn't just the physical cold weather I was shielding Him from.  Rather, I used my body to shield him from the spiritual blows of a rejected message.  Some blows fell upon me instead the Baby.

My "yes" was a moment of acceptance.

There, my meditation ended because my wife brought our one-year old baby daughter, Baby Hope, into the room. 

I "snapped out" of my prayer when I heard my daughter cry.  I heard Baby Jesus in my baby daughter.  My wife then nursed her. 

I watched my wife and daughter and marveled how I was given a gift for Christmas.

I was happy.  I was grateful.


What a gift!  And what a gift during the Feast of St. Stephen!

Rite for the Blessing of a Child in the Womb (Outside Mass)

Solemnity of the Nativity

Sunday, December 25, 2016

[Homily #81]

Nativity Re-enactment w/Kids

Sat., Dec. 25, 2016, St. Catherine's, Vallejo, CA

The Significance of Dec. 23

It must have been Dec. 23, 1990.  I would have been a high school junior.

I was at Fr. Norman Segovia's anniversary celebration as a priest.  It was at the Cano Residence in San Jose, California.

A member of the Legion of Mary, Bro. Edgar Villanueva, asked me if I thought about the priesthood.

I told him that the life of the new parish deacon appealed to me.  I said that I felt called to be married.

He simply said, "Okay."


And that was it. 

It was the first time in my memory that someone encouraged me to be a married permanent deacon.

It was at a simple gathering.  No fanfare.  No fireworks.

It was someone in the parish who encouraged me.  God's people asked me.

The rest is history.


(I first blogged about it in more detail HERE.)

A Dream of Three Demons

I had a dream of what I believe were 3 demons.

I was at a dinner table.  Tove Ann was seated to my left.

The demon in front of me took human form of a woman.  I went to touch the "woman" with my left hand and the demon said to me, "Why do you touch me with your impurities?"

Then there was a demon to my right.  It also took the form of a woman but this image looked charcoaled and in agony.

The third demon was the image of a woman's head on the table.  It was constantly vomiting.  Tove Ann said, "Gross!"

I picked up the vomiting head and threw it off the table.

I woke up in the middle of the night.  I didn't wake up Tove Ann.

Later in the day, I told her.

My sense was that it meant to pray for souls in purgatory.

As I write this, I think that it could just mean Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory.

This dream is such a contrast to my previous dream of Christ and the devil which I blogged about HERE.

My Reason for the Blog Name

This blog name "Mary's Deacon" is more for me (rather than to tell my audience who I am).

It reminds me that I am a deacon because of her.

I am preaching to myself with the blog name.

I am preaching to me first before preaching to others.

SR Chancery Christmas 2016 Photo

(Photo courtesy of Stephen Morris)

What I Wrote When Offered the SR Chancery Role 3+ Years Ago

From the land of the oak /

to the redwood empire of the holy rose /

the Beloved dispatches me /

to be crucified once again

for love of His flock.

(Aug. 2013)

Accompanying Divorced Catholics (Homily #80)

Total Catholics reached today: 1500-2100 (500-700 per Mass)

10am

8am

12pm (partial due to baptism during Mass)
[Addendum: On Dec. 29, 2016, I reflected on my errors @ 12pm HERE.]

Homily #80

Accompanying Divorced Catholics

December 4, 2016

In today’s Gospel, John the Baptist gives us the theme for the 2^nd Sunday of Advent: Repentance and conversion.  Repentance or conversion is not just a little change of mind, but it is a radical change of mind.  It is a complete change of mind.  According to Ignatius Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises, conversion can be either instant or gradual.  It can be fast or slow.

Whether conversion is instant or gradual, there is no better way to prepare for Christmas than conversion especially in our family life.  I’d like to particularly reach out to those with broken family relationships.  As a married permanent deacon with a family, I have one foot in the marriage and family world, and I have another foot in the ordained clergy world.  So, naturally, improving family life throughout our parish community is fitting.  To use the words of John the Baptist, let us produce as a parish good fruits as evidence of repentance and preparation. 

Also, Sister Lucia, to whom Mary appeared in Fatima, Portugal, 99 years ago, wrote, “The final battle between Our Lord and Satan will be over family and marriage.”  We are to do our part to “make straight his path” in this spiritual battle.

But to do this, I’d like to hit and heal the root.  The root here is the sacramental bond of marriage.  I’m not going to focus on important things like communication skills, finances, etc.  I’m not a professional marriage counselor.  Rather, I’m going to focus on the foundation, one that will allow graces, blessings and healing to flow, perhaps even re-opening old wounds that may have not yet healed properly.

I

There are two groups to help heal here:  The first is couples that are only civilly married or even just simply living together without the bond of marriage.  For this Advent, this is a warm invitation to change one’s mind about their (secular) views on marriage — to have a more Christian view – and convalidate the marriage with the Church if married only civilly.

A couple recently told me they were going to get married at the local City Hall.  I had to explain to them that, esp. for Catholics, if a marriage took place at City Hall, the Church does not recognize this as a valid marriage, and the Catholic would need to refrain from receiving Holy Communion.  Thankfully, they changed their mind and decided to get married by the Church.  They had a conversion moment.

The reason I said this is that the vow – the “I do” -- between a baptized man and a baptized woman before a Catholic priest or delegated deacon is what makes it valid and a Sacrament.  It is indissoluble.  Not even the Church can break this bond.

II

This leads to the second group to heal: those that have experienced the pain of divorce.  Pope Francis wrote in Joy of Love that the increase in divorces is “very troubling” (AL 246).  After the Synod on the Family, the Pope called Church members to “accompany” (AL 242) separated and divorced Catholics.  We are to smell like the sheep, even if it means leaving our comfort zone.  In a sense, the women and children that experienced divorce are the new widows and orphans of our time.  They are the new poor, the neglected, the abandoned, the brokenhearted. 

As it is written in our Responsorial Psalm, “For he shall rescue the poor when he cries out, and the afflicted when he has no one to help him”.  Just as the first seven deacons brought the neglected before the Apostles, so too with my diaconate office I bring these new widows and orphans to you, today’s Church.  What can we do to accompany and protect these new widows and orphans, especially during Advent?

Other than material support, which is important, one of those ways is to have a better understanding of what is commonly called an annulment.  A more proper name is a Declaration of Nullity.  It is part of the Church’s healing ministry.

[SLOW:] A Declaration of Nullity is a declaration by a Church Tribunal that what appeared to be a marriage was, in fact, not a true marriage.  After careful study, the Tribunal makes a declaration of nullity when it is proven that some ingredient necessary for a true marriage was lacking during vows.  For example, maybe one of the spouses did not intend marriage the way the Church understands marriage.

[I’m quoting here info. from the Diocesan Tribunal website: “Divorce of itself does not prohibit a Catholic from receiving the sacraments or limit his/her involvement in the Church. However, Church discipline holds that divorced Catholics who remarry without a declaration of nullity may not receive the Eucharist. The Church encourages such Catholics to continue practicing their Catholic faith and being active in the Church in all other ways, assuring them of God’s love; and reminding pastors that these persons are entitled to pastoral care.”]

The annulment process can involve a lot, but it helps heal the anger and hurtful memories.  It can put closure in a way that a civil divorce cannot (because it carries the authority of Christ the Healer and His Church). It patches deep wounds. 

So is an annulment this necessary?  Yes (and it is ok even if one does not have any definitive plans to re-marry in the future).  Why?  It’s simple: Because on the one hand, the Church upholds Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce; on the other hand, the Church uphold Jesus’ healing ministry through a Marriage Tribunal.   

III

To the women (children) affected by divorce, I have this personal message for you:

I’m happy to see you.  I’m happy to see you at Mass.  It is in the Mass that we are in communion with God, each other, and those that have gone before us in death.

I know that you have been hurt.  I know the wound goes deep.  It goes deep perhaps because you have loved deeply and trusted deeply.

I don’t know all the circumstances.  But I’ve seen sadness in your eyes.  I’ve heard of the hardships.  And these pain me to see and hear (even after all these years).

I say these things because it is the best way I know how to help, to protect you, for you to be happy.  The remedy is love.  I would not bring up an annulment to harm you, but rather because we care about your wellbeing. 

When one part of the Body of Christ hurts, the other parts of the Body hurt, too.  I invite (& even beg you), w/bended knees & clasp hands, to seek an annulment.

In closing, we Catholics are called to harmoniously think with the heart and mind of the Church on family life this Advent season.  I close w/the words from St. Paul in the 2^nd Reading (Rom.): May the God of endurance & encouragement grant you to think in harmony w/one another in keeping w/Christ Jesus, that you may glorify the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, with one accord and with one voice.

What I Said to a Freemason After Mass

After the 10am Mass today, I greeted parishioners as usual.

I saw a Freemason pin on one of the parishioners that was leaving.  After about 3-5 seconds, I went after him.

After gently putting my arm around him, I said, "You know, you can't be a Catholic and Freemason at the same time."

No reply.

I then said, "You have to look into that."

He said, "Okay."

And that was it...

...for now.

Helen Esperanza Catubig (1946-2016)

Final Moments Before Closing Casket
(Sat. morning before Funeral Mass, Nov. 5, 2016)
Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo
COVER PHOTO FOR BLOG

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Friday morning/afternoon, Oct. 28, 2016

Mama Helen's Home

(no photos available)

It was always Mama Helen's desire to pass away at her home.  And she did around noon.

Here is the story that appeared in Helen's bio which is reprinted in full below:

Helen returned home from the hospital on Friday, October 28.  It was the Feast of St. Jude, patron saint of impossible cases, and Tove Ann’s birthday.  During the ride home in the ambulance, Tove Ann quietly prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her mom.  When Helen arrived in the family room, family members immediately said, “You’re home, Mom!  Welcome home, Mom!” because they knew that it was her dying wish to pass peacefully in her own home.  Within minutes, as her son Daniel hung a crucifix above her bed, Helen took her last breath.  Stefanie Jane described Helen’s final moment as if “she took her last breath as a sigh of relief” for she was finally home.  Helen passed away during the Jubilee Year of Mercy.

The web log below contains snapshots/story of the funeral and the 40 or so days that followed.

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Friday evening, Oct. 28, 2016

St. Joseph's Church, Pinole

(after 6:30pm Mass)

Ernesto Catubig kneels in the Santo Niño (Baby Jesus) Chapel at St. Joseph's in Pinole after evening Mass.
Helen Catubig, his wife of 47 years, had just passed away earlier that afternoon.

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Friday night, Oct. 28, 2016

(Tove Ann's birthday)

After evening Mass, Helen's 5 kids gathered at her house.

Tove Ann's sister, Ate Marissa, prepared some cupcakes for Tove Ann.

There was a sense from the family to do this.

Then everyone prayed the rosary.

We gathered around the spot where Mama Helen's bed was placed when she died.

 

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THE DAY AFTER

Sat. evening, Oct. 29, 2016

5:30pm Mass @ St. Dominic's, Benicia

Numerous appointments were cancelled, and we spent the following day preparing.
We joined my sister-in-law, Marissa Catubig Niles, and her husband, Aaron, for Mass.

 

A lighter moment: I recorded a video of my tickling Baby Hope.

I ran into a former co-worker during my days at the Oakland Chancery at a father-son outing event.  His name is Joe Murray.  He and his wife Peggy are pretty active at their parish somewhere in the Oakland Diocese.

I told Joe of the news of my mother-in-law's death.  They're not Filipinos, but Joe said Peggy once told him, "When I die, give me a Filipino funeral!  You get the novenas, the rosaries, the Masses, the 40 days.  I want people praying for me when I die."

_________________________________________

Services were announced.

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Vigil of All Saints, Veneration of Saints Relics

Monday evening, Oct. 31, 2016, after 5:15pm Mass

St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church, Vallejo

Afterwards, we gathered again at Mama Helen's house. 

In this photo, Kuya Don (my brother-in-law) and Ate Marissa (my sister-in-law) kneeling in prayer.

I was asked to bless the house.  In addition to Holy Water, I also used Blessed Salt. 

We also did some Deliverance Prayers and the family said some prayers to heal the family tree.

This is a picture of the 5 kids gathered around their dad, Papa Ernie.

We prayed especially for Papa Ernie.

As part of preparations, Mama Helen's kids developed matching memorial sweaters.
I felt like the 9 days after Mama Helen's death were peaceful and comforting.

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1ST DAY OF VIEWING
Thursday, Nov. 3, 2016
Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo

Helen's body lay in state.

  

My sister, Michelle, visited.  Here she is greeting my brother-in-law, J.J.

Tove Ann led some prayers.

My sister, Michelle, offered to keep an eye on our kids.  Thanks, Michelle!

  

A first run of a slide show by Ate Marissa on Helen's life was presented.  I heard sobs.

 

 

 

My mom and Papa Hardie drove up from my boyhood town of Milpitas for the first viewing.

 

People came throughout the day. 

I saw their names written in the guest book, even though I didn't see them in person.
I am grateful that they came.  That's why it's important to sign funeral guest books.

 

My Mom says good night for the first viewing.

Resting at home later that night w/Baby Hope

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SECOND DAY OF VIEWING
FOLLOWED BY FIRST FRIDAY MASS
&
VIGIL FOR FUNERAL MASS

Friday evening, Nov. 4, 2016

St. Catherine's, Vallejo

Fr.Gerome Hernandez was celebrant for the First Friday evening Mass.

Before the Vigil, we invited people to come join us for prayers for the eternal repose of Mama Helen's soul.

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FUNERAL VIGIL

Friday evening after 7pm Mass


Later that evening, I led the Funeral Vigil.
My brother deacons and their wives joined us. 

Thank you to Deacon Pete & Agnes Lobo,
Deacon Raffy & Daisy Rey (parents of my former student Derek Rey),
and Deacon Juan & Olivia Moreno. 
Deacon Jose Rubio was in the congregation.
Deacon Bobby Peregrino stopped by after teaching a class.

At the end, Tove Ann gave the eulogy.  I wish I recorded it.

Homily #79: Vigil for Helen Catubig
(In my homily, I emphasized that offering Masses for Helen's soul is a great act of love.)

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BRIEF CATECHESIS
ON WHAT HAPPENS AT THE MOMENT OF DEATH

Here's a brief catechesis (religious instruction) on the 4 Last Things:

Death, Judgment, Heaven, Hell.

When someone dies, the soul is immediately judged by Christ.  The soul enters into one of 3 states: Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.  This is called Particular Judgment.  Yes, Hell is real. 

The Particular Judgment is different from the General Judgment.  At the end of the world, when Jesus Christ returns in glory at his Second Coming, those in Heaven are reunited with their bodies in the resurrection.  Those whom we know are in Heaven are canonized by the Church as saints. 

Having been purified in Purgatory with what St. Paul calls a burning fire from imperfections before seeing God face to face, those in the state of Purgation "eventually" go to Heaven at varying moments.  They, too, are re-united with their bodies at the resurrection along with those in Heaven. 

Purgatory is temporary and ends.

Those damned to Hell at the Particular Judgment don't receive a glorified body as the saints are resurrected, but they undergo what the Book of Revelation calls a "second death" at the General Judgment.  They suffer from their separation from God forever; physical torments are secondary.

Christ the Judge will separate the sheep from the goats.  It will be a terrible day!

Our task now for the deceased is to pray for them if they are in Purgatory.  They are both happy (because they know that they will "eventually" see God face to face) and sad (because they "do not yet" see God face to face). 

The best way the living can help souls in Purgatory is to have Holy Mass offered for the repose of their souls.  This is the beauty of the Communion of Saints.

You can have Mass offered by calling any local Catholic church parish office or ask a priest.

If a soul is in Hell, no prayers -- not even Holy Mass -- will do anything for them.

Now, the number 40 is important and has biblical roots.  But the 40 days of prayer after death is more of a Filipino cultural tradition with some pre-Christian practices.  (Orthodox Christians have something similar, but that is outside the scope of this catechesis.) 

Prior to the evangelization of the Philippine Islands, there was a cultural mindset in pre-Christian Philippines that the soul somehow remained for 40 days on earth and even haunted the living after that time.  Of course, as Christians, we don't believe the dead haunt the living. 

We believe in the what I described above about Particular Judgment.  It is in our 2,000 year old Creed.  And even the Jews believed that it is wholesome to pray for the dead in 2 Maccabees.

So.... the 40 days pre-Christian cultural belief (and even superstition) should be "baptized" to mean prayers for the dead during the 40 days (not because the souls linger around). 

Again, the soul does not haunt the living and undergoes Particular Judgment at death: Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.  Those are the only 3 states they are in. 

The Catholic teaching on the "4 Last Things" should purify the cultural elements.  Retain what is true and purify was is not.

I hope this helps.  Send me a message if it does not.

 

 

We formally closed the Vigil ritual.

I invited others to come up and speak.

Kuya Don, my brother-in-law said some words, along with a former student of Mama Helen. 

Helen's former student spoke for her former students and asked them to stand which they did. 

As a former high school classroom teacher myself, this edified me to see former students there.

Tove Ann's cousin, Cheryl Medina, spoke, too.

They spoke beautiful words.

Thank you to Gene Leoncio and the Catholic Youth Ministry (CYM) Mothers assisted with the family's hospitality at the Parish Life Center.

Thank you to Fr. Resti, Sis. Chris Bolko, and Sis. Thelma Tamayo for supporting the family with services, the funeral scheduling, and arrangements.

  

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FINAL PRIVATE FAMILY VIEWING

Sat. morning (before Funeral Mass), Nov. 5, 2016

Twin Chapels Mortuary, Vallejo

 

Helen's 3 Daughters (Marissa, Tove Ann, Stefanie Jane) by Helen's coffin

These are my favorite pictures out of all the pictures my son, John Paul, and I took.

 

Here is the procession to the church for the Funeral Mass.
The 5 Catubig kids were w/Papa Ernie in J.J.'s Escalade.

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FUNERAL MASS

Sat. morning, Nov. 5, 2016, 10am

St. Catherine's Church, Vallejo

Tove Ann sang "Santo Nino," a song that Mama Helen sang to them when they were kids.

I don't have any more Funeral Mass photos at this time.
If you have any, please send me some.  I will be sure to give proper credit.

Fr. Resti Galang was the celebrant of the Funeral Mass.
Fr. Gerome Hernandez concelebrated.  Thank you, Father Resti and Father Gerome!
I assisted Fr. Resti, along with Deacon Rudy David.

One message from Fr. Resti's preaching on St. Paul: We do not weep as pagans do, but we weep with Christian hope in the "resurrection of the death and life everlasting."

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PROCESSION TO BURIAL SITE
(with escort by Villeside Motorcycle Club)

One of the members of Villeside MC played Boyz II Men's A Song For Mama.

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RITE OF COMMITAL
All Souls Cemetery, Vallejo
(after 10am Funeral Mass)


The pictures were taken by my son, John Paul.

 

Video: Part of Rite of Commital

  

Video: Blessing w/Holy Water

Video: Tossing Flowers on Lowered Casket

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L to R: Fr. Gerome Hernandez, MSP (Parochial Vicar, St. Catherine's);
Deacon Dennis Purificacion; Fr. Glenn Jaron, MSP (Episcopal Vicar for Clergy)

Fr. Glenn came from the Sacramento Chancery (Pastoral Center).


Thank you to fellow clergy, esp. Fr. Resti, and to the Diocese for your support.

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SUNDAY GATHERING AFTER FUNERAL

Sun., Nov. 6, 2016

extended family

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VETERANS' DAY

Friday, November 11, 2016, 7:45am Mass

St. Catherine's, Vallejo

 

Deacon Juan Moreno, U.S. Army (ret.), preached an excellent homily on Veterans' Day.

My father-in-law, who is a combat wounded veteran with 2 Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star Medal with "V" (to name just a few), was present at morning Mass with us.

Thank you, Veterans, for your sacrifices and service in defense of our country!

After Mass, we went to All Souls Catholic Cemetery, Vallejo, to visit Mama Helen's gravesite.

 

 

Tove Ann w/her dad

Specialist Ernesto Catubig, U.S. Army (Ret.)
"Helicopter Soldier" & "Tunnel Rat"

 

 

 

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Sunday Morning Mass, Nov. 13, 2016

St. Catherine's Church

(after Mass)

Maureen DeVigal offered condolences to Tove Ann after Mass.

 

Fr. William Kinane, the priest who married me and Tove Ann, was the visiting priest.

I assisted him on Saturday evening the day before. 

He told me he would offer Mass for my mother-in-law when he returned to the retirement home.

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MASS ON THANKSGIVING DAY

Thursday morning, Nov. 24, 2016, 9am Mass

St. Basil's Catholic Church, Vallejo

After Mass, we visited the cemetery.

  

Kuya Don w/some of my kids

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40-DAY MARK AFTER DEATH

Wed. evening, Dec. 7, 2016, Vigil of the Immaculate Conception

Mama Helen's House

 

After praying the rosary w/five Catubig kids, we had Papa Ernie's famous hot Sinagang.

Papa Ernie put up a picture of his late wife and their 5 kids.
The frame below reads, "Family Forever No Matter What".

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40 DAYS PRAYER & CELEBRATION

Gaudate Sunday (Joyful Sunday) afternoon, December 11, 2016

Mama Helen's House

We attended an early 7am Mass at St. Vincent Ferrer in Vallejo with Papa Ernie.  We drove separate cars.  Papa Ernie and Tove Ann then went to prepare for the day.  The kids and I went home for a few hours to get ready.

It was most fitting for us to take out Christmas decorations on Gaudete Sunday (Rejoice Sunday or Joyful Sunday) b/c it is a day of joy.  These are not dead words for our family but a lived reality that permeates every aspect of our lives.... at least we try our best.  This is our little Christmas tree we've had, I think, since Tove Ann and I were first married.

 

I dropped the kids off and took John Paul with me to pick up just a little bit of pizza for the 40 Days Prayer Celebration.  Transporting these pizzas like this was JP's idea.

John Paul played by ear. 

This musical side definitely runs in the Catubig blood. 

I only have a few musically-inclined family members on my side of the family.

I recorded "Ang Tanging Alay Ko" to give John Paul some initial feedback.

John Paul learned the song on his own.

This song has deep roots in the family.

This is just a snapshot of part of the room that my son took.

This is my mom, Evelyn.

Losing my mother-in-law makes me think about my own mom.

(Here we are with my youngest daughter, Therese Maria Hope.  I just call her Hope.)

I didn't know JP recorded this. 

After the rosary and some family deliverance prayers Tove Ann led, I gave a blessing.

soccer w/cousins
(Geana & Aleya Catubig)

My sister-in-law, Ate Marissa "Esperanza" Niles, made ribbons to hand out. 

 

We love you, Mama Helen!

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+ Eternal rest grant unto the soul of Helen Esperaniza Catubig, O Lord.

And let perpetual light shine upon her.

May the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Amen.

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HELEN ESPERANZA CATUBIG (Aug. 18, 1946 - Oct. 28, 2016)

DEVOTED WIFE, LOVING MOTHER & DEDICATED TEACHER

Helen Esperanza Catubig was born on August 18, 1946, to Monico Villatuya Esperanza and Patrocinio Reodica Romana in Makati City, Philippines.  Raised in a family with four brothers and one sister (Amor, Harry, Samuel, Ronaldo, & Ruby who passed away on Ash Wednesday 2015), Helen grew up in what she described as “an innocent, wonderful life in the Philippines.”  

Helen’s upbringing helped her overcome the obstacles of living in the U.S.  She attributed her success in America to her father who encouraged her to go to America and “get that education, despite the unknown hurdles.”  Also, Fely Bacani (her mother’s sister who passed away in 2015) was a “moving force” in coming to America.  Helen earned a B.A. in Psychology from the University of San Francisco and later earned an M.A. in Education while raising kids.

In 1969, she met and fell in love with Ernesto Antalan Catubig, a wounded U.S. Army combat veteran who lost his right arm in the Vietnam War.  “I will be your lost right arm,” she said to him.  On June 6, 1970, Helen and Ernesto became one through the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in San Francisco.  This year, they celebrated 46 years of marriage.  They testified to the great beauty and joy of marriage and family life. 

All 5 children were born in San Francisco: Marissa, Daniel, Tove Ann, James John, and Stefanie Jane.  They moved to Vallejo in 1988.  The parents instilled in their children the importance of God, family, education, and service.  In a text message in September, Helen wrote to one of her kids, “No matter what happens, you are my best kids in the world.  That, never forget when the time comes.”  She and Ernesto taught their kids how to pray the rosary even into their adulthood.  
Helen retired in 2005 after 35 years of teaching for the San Francisco Unified School District (Balboa High; Denman Middle; Longfellow Elementary) and is listed in Who’s Who Among America’s Teachers.  She served as an exceptional leader in numerous Filipino American community organizations in the SF Bay Area (e.g., Filipino Community of Solano County, Inc.; Fil-Am Retired U.S. Armed Forces Association; Sekder Day Pangasinan; Luisiana Association). 

Helen had a long battle with multiple illnesses, including Diabetes, Kidney Disease, and Congestive Heart Failure, to name just a few.  Over the past year, Helen was in and out of the hospital and rehabilitation center numerous times, which became longer and more frequent over the past three months.  She thought of others, especially her grandkids, during her illness.

Helen returned home from the hospital on Friday, October 28.  It was the Feast of St. Jude, patron saint of impossible cases, and Tove Ann’s birthday.  During the ride home in the ambulance, Tove Ann quietly prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her mom.  When Helen arrived in the family room, family members immediately said, “You’re home, Mom!  Welcome home, Mom!” because they knew that it was her dying wish to pass peacefully in her own home.  Within minutes, as her son Daniel hung a crucifix above her bed, Helen took her last breath.  Stefanie Jane described Helen’s final moment as if “she took her last breath as a sigh of relief” for she was finally home.  Helen passed away during the Jubilee Year of Mercy.

 VIEWINGS

Thurs., Nov. 3 * 1-9pm Twin Chapels Mortuary, 1100 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94590, (707) 552-6696

Fri., Nov. 4 * 2-5pm St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591, (707) 553-1355


PARISH SERVICES & VIGIL

Fri., Nov. 4 * 5:30pm Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, Holy Hour w/Devotional Prayers & Benediction St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591

Fri., Nov. 4 * 7pm First Friday Mass St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Fr. Gerome Hernandez, MSP (The family asks for prayers at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.   The Mass intention will be for Helen Catubig.)

Fri., Nov 4 * 7:30pm Vigil (to begin the Funeral Rites of the Catholic Church) St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Deacon Dennis Purificacion  (Helen’s son-in-law)

[Refreshments will be available in the Parish Life Center from 2:30-9:30pm.]


FUNERAL & RITE OF COMMITTAL

Sat., Nov. 5 * 10am Funeral Mass St. Catherine’s Catholic Church, 3450 Tennessee St., Vallejo 94591 Fr. Resti Galang, MSP

Rite of Committal (Interment) All Souls Catholic Cemetery, 550 Glen Cove Rd., Vallejo 94591, (707) 644-5209

Deacon Dennis Purificacion

Special Request: Before she passed away, Helen requested that people please wear the bright colors of purple, white and yellow at the funeral and avoid wearing black as much as possible.  Thank you.



HELPING THE CATUBIG FAMILY

Many people have asked how they can help during this difficult time.  Before Helen’s death, the national cemetery in Dixon was first chosen since there were no expenses for veterans.  However, after Helen’s passing, Ernesto changed his mind and decided he wanted the family to be closer to Helen’s gravesite at All Souls Cemetery in Vallejo instead.  This meant an unexpected significant increase in funeral costs.  Your assistance will help greatly during this time of need.  Your donations can be deposited/wired into Ernesto Catubig’s Wells Fargo account (Routing #121042882 & Account #610-664-8477).  Contact him for more information @ (707) 655-6804.  Thank you.

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THANK YOU LETTER FROM CATUBIG FAMILY


AMDG

   November 12, 2016

Thank you very much for your love, prayers, and material support during this difficult time.  You are truly an instrument of God’s providential love and care for us.  Thank you for your countless prayers, especially for the Masses offered for the eternal repose of Mom’s soul.  Thank you for your presence and presents, which continue to help our family, especially our father, Ernesto Catubig, to carry this heavy cross of losing Mom.  May God Our Father bless you a hundredfold for all the good you do for our family.  May you be richly rewarded in this life and in the next.  Know that you, too, are in our prayers.

   With love & gratitude,
   The Catubig Family
   (Ernesto, Marissa, Daniel, Tove Ann, James John, & Stefanie Jane)

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THANK YOU FROM THE PURIFICACION FAMILY!!!