I needed Him for clarity and enlightenment as my heart was burdened with a paper that was taking me a while to complete. I had finished praying the glorious mysteries of the rosary during the day, and I thought that I would pray another set of the 5 mysteries of light during this Holy Hour with Him. I imagined Mary present near the Blessed Sacrament.
After I finished the 10th Hail Mary from the first luminous mystery, which is the Baptism of Our Lord, I pictured Jesus as in lectio divina in front of me in all His humanity as much as I could. I imaged Him being followed by Andrew and John, as if Jesus was on His way to the desert. Then they spoke. I was about 10 feet away.
I had had this meditation before during the Ignatian Exercises two years ago. This was a little different as Jesus seemed more serious in my meditation two years ago which I recorded in my diaconate discernment journal. His face was different this time.
And then I imagined Jesus extend His right hand to me. His palm was facing upward. In American handshaking custom, it is an act of submission to do so, and hands should be offered equally with hands extended facing sideways. I don't think these customs mattered to Jesus other than what it is in the heart. I did not want to grab His hand with my hand facing downward. But I reached out, and He received my hands sideways and pulled me toward Him the way one does with old friends.
He looked down at me as he side-hugged me on His right side. I looked up at His face to my left as He stared at me. He seemed happy with me, and His eyes and calm face showed me that He knew what I was doing for Him. It was like He expected me to labor for Him. It was also like my sins and failures did not matter at that moment, even though in my heart I knew myself to be a sinner laboring for Him. My heart had so much joy, and I smiled at Him. I was so happy. He said, "I will write it for you. Don't worry."
As I was trained by my spiritual director when I first learned how to meditate on the Gospels, I tried to stay in the moment. I stayed in the moment with Him for about a minute or so. And then I sensed the meditation to fade away. My encountering Him seemed so brief.
I said, "No, please don't go." He said, "I am with you."
I opened my eyes and stared at the silence of the Blessed Sacrament. It was quiet again. I continued praying the rosary with joy in my heart. I prayed the remainder of the rosary slower than before.
Before I left, I saw someone I recognized in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, and I went up to him to say hello.
Later that night, I made progress with my paper in one night more than I have had progress in the past six months combined.
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I gladly submit this (as I do with all that I write and say to teach the Faith) to the judgment of Holy Mother Church.
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