Homily #12: Conversion

"And so my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, here is a question for you: Are we in the state of grace or are we in the state of sin?"  This was a question I asked in the homily.

I was assigned to give the homily at the 10am & 5pm.  The recording below is from the 5pm Mass.

Part 1 of 2

Part 2 of 2

Also, as I will blog at another time, I was asked to assist Bishop Myron Cotta again, this time for the 12pm Mass which is for the 50th Anniversary Parish Celebration.

I "tested" chanting the Gospel at the 10am Mass.  This was my third time to chant (or intone) the Gospel.  I've done it for shorter Gospels before.

I have to admit, for some reason, I was really nervous doing this at the 10am Mass.  I think I was too focused on myself and the fact that it was new to most people for me to do this correctly.  People are not used to hearing liturgy sung or chanted.  My nervousness was too distracting.  I had rehearsed this many times, but I guess I still need more practice.  

It was a blessing in disguise because I interpreted this as a sign that I should not do this at the 12pm Mass with the bishop.  And to do this for now, until I gain more experience with it I guess.

I actually chanted the Gospel at the 5pm, just to show that it could be done and that practice was needed.  I was like this with the Kyrie Eleison during the Penitential Rite.  At first, I was nervous, but now I am getting used to it with some practice and experience.  I am hoping this is the case here.  I try my best to sing all the parts that could be sung that are proper to the deacon for weekend Masses.

At any rate, here is how a Gospel chanted should have sounded.  I used a very basic tone.

Homily on Conversion

26^th Sunday in Ordinary Time

September 28, 2014

I’d like for you all to imagine that in front of me is the edge of a cliff.  I’m only a few steps from a fall.   

If you were standing at the edge of a cliff with me, what do you think you and I would do?

Are we going to continue walking in that same direction?  Or are we going to make a big change in the opposite direction?  

Of course, you and I will want to move in the opposite direction.

Now imagine behind me is God.  Right now, I have my back to God.

When I turn around.  When do a 180 degree turn (like this).  When I change course radically--  This is called conversion...conversion back to God.

And this is the first point.  Conversion is not just a simple change back to God, but it is a radical change back to God.  

In today’s Gospel, the first son said that he would not go to the vineyard, but he “changed his mind and went”.  He turned away from his cliff.  

The First Reading from the Book of the Prophet Ezekiel says,

“But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed, he does what is right and just, he shall preserve his life; 

since he has turned away from all the sins that he has committed, he shall surely live, and he shall not die”.

Conversion is a radical change away from the cliff of sin.   

It addition to turning away from sin, conversion means returning to friendship w/God.  And this leads me to the second point: Friendship with God or being in the state of grace.

Being in the state of grace is like running towards God and away from that cliff of sin.  Sin is an offense against God.

So we are either in the state of friendship or grace or we are in the state of sin.  There is NO in-between.  It's either one or the other.

Being in the state of grace begins with Baptism.  At Baptism, you and I received sanctifying grace in our souls.  

Our goal as Christians is to always live in this baptismal innocence, the state of grace, in the state of friendship with God, but most importantly we must die in the state of grace.  One must die in the state of grace to go to heaven. 

Just like walking toward the cliff, by choosing to be in the state of sin, we are separating ourselves from God.   

It is the worst thing ever.  I know many of you are experiencing physical ailments, or financial problems, or this or that.  But the worst thing out of all of these, as Pope Pius XII said, is sin.

And so my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, here is a question for you: Are we in the state of grace or are we in the state of sin?

The Bible talks about the difference between serious or deadly sin versus lesser sins.  Serious sin -- as the word deadly suggests -- kills grace and love in the soul.  (As I will talk about later, this is restored in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.)  Lesser sins damage or hurts the relationship with God but does kill grace in the soul.   

All serious sins should be confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  If we are in the state of sin, we need conversion back to God’s love.

This leads me to the third and final point: the Sacrament of Conversion.

If we lose our baptismal innocence, it is restored through the Sacrament of Conversion also called the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Confession, or Penance.  

Going to Confession is like a good shower.  You clean yourself with water.  Confession is a good spiritual shower, except instead of water you and I are washed with the Blood of Jesus in this sacrament.   

And of course, like an earthly shower, you don’t wait to wait too long to take a good spiritual shower.  You want to take showers more regularly.

I remember a mom telling me about how she went to Confession with her young adult daughter.  When her daughter came out of Confession, she said, “Mom, I want to go again.  I love this feeling!  I feel so refreshed.”

Also, remember, when we sin (or separate ourselves from God), we don’t just hurt God, we hurt each other.  That’s why we need the Church.  Pope Francis himself emphasizes this: We need both Jesus and the Church.  We are not just reconciled to God, but we are reconciled to each other.  

The Catechism says that reconciliation with God is inseparable from reconciliation with the Church.   

The Bible says that Jesus gave his apostles the authority to forgive sins.  We see in John Chapter 20 how Jesus said to his apostles, “Receive the Holy Spirit…whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven.  Whose sins you retain, they are retained.”  The apostles and their successors through the bishops and the holy priesthood forgive and absolve sins in Christ’s name.

Also, it’s like a spouse that doesn’t just say, “I’m sorry” and that’s it and coldly moves on.  Going to a priest in Confession is like saying “I’m sorry and how can I make up for it?  What can I do to make it better?”  Like today's Gospel, words alone are insufficient, but deeds are required here.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation restores God’s grace and love in the soul.  Reconciliation is “usually followed by peace of mind and peace of conscience”. 

It is like a hospital for our souls.  It heals and restores spiritual health.

If you haven’t gone to confession in a long time or are just nervous about going in general, maybe because you had a bad experience in the past; then, perhaps consider bringing someone along, like your spouse, a friend, or a family member.  And to go on your birthday or on New Year’s Eve or Advent or Lent.  

  

Or if you want to make that radical change in your life; then, I’d invite you to go as early as you possibly can.  There’s no better time like the present.   Because we you die, that's it.  There's no more time for repentance.

Wednesday evenings and Saturday afternoons here at St. Catherine’s hold confessions.

So, to summarize the three points from today’s Gospel: Conversion, the necessity of the Sacrament of Conversion, and living in the state of grace.  And let us live and die in the state of grace.

Let us not be like the second son who said, "Yes, sir, I will go," but did not go.  

Rather, let us be like the first son who said, “I will not go”, but he changed his mind and went.

__________________________________

Purificacion, Dennis (September 28, 2014).  Homily on Conversion, the Sacrament of Conversion, & the State of Grace (Vallejo, CA: St. Catherine's) blogged on www.marysdeacon.blogspot.com on September 29, 2014.

St. Pio Hears Confession

St.Lorenzo Ruiz (Homily #11)

I was excited to be asked last minute to give the homily this evening.  St. Lorenzo Ruiz is my Confirmation saint.

I wish I had included something about the plight of Filipino overseas workers and the defense of these overseas workers as part of my homily.

Hopefully, I will include them and be a voice for them another time.

3 Videos: "You Know Better Than I"

One of the blessings of the permanent diaconate is that two sacraments assist the permanent deacon-- Holy Matrimony and Holy Orders.  The sacraments confer grace to assist in the Cross of life.

Early this morning, somewhat passed midnight, my wife played three songs that I simply want to post here to remember this day.  There were very deep moments I shared with her where during the course of these songs my heart was softened and I told Jesus, "I can do [all things] in You" and "I love you."

I thought of all the responsibilities that God gave me and my family, and I had my moments of weakness where I felt like "I can't" and I told Jesus sorry that I could not feel His presence.  But it is in my weakness where I am strong.

The first song, especially, helped break down my heart into a tender heart since the words were the most relevant at that time.

I told her, "You helped me love Christ" and made an act of sheer faith and love.  I told her that since ordination, my sense of Christ was different.  It's been different since ordination.  I pondered how maybe it meant that Christ was in me, even though I am a sinner.

The first was a song about a spiritual warrior being a child called "The Warrior is a Child".  Of the three songs, it was the most relevant.

The second was "You Know Better Than I".

The third song was "Take Me Out of the Dark".

Thank you, God, for these moments of consolation.  I know that Mother Theresa did not have moments of consolation for over 50 years, but that is how weak I am.

Thank you, God.

"Catholic Herald" Class Photo

Permanent Deacon Class of 2014
Click here for Catholic Herald announcement:
http://fcweb1.faithcatholic.net/digital/Sacramento/CH0914/#?page=38

September/October, pp. 36, 38-39, 41
www.scd.org

Young Adult K-Cup 2014

I returned to one of my old classrooms, after leaving here 12 years ago in order to complete my first doctorate.  The last time I set foot in this classroom was 2002.

So Saturday evening was a type of a homecoming for me at St. Patrick-St. Vincent's High School where I taught 9th & 10th grade Religion.  During the time I was there from 1998-2002, I formally taught 500-600 kids.

Here I am posing for a selfie with 3 of my 4 kids in front of my old classroom.  We had some time to spare before Mass started.

After 12 years, I set foot in my old classroom where I taught from 1998-2002.
I started teaching high school when I was 24 years old.

Below is my wife with my 4th child.
Photo taken by my sister-in-law, Ate Marissa Catubig Niles.

Yes, I reminisced about many things I had in the room back then.  I had a corner with a bunch of pictures from students.  I remembered some of the pictures I had up on the walls.  I thought of students who are now adults, many of them with their own families.  Some of them still call me "Mr. P." to this day.  I wasn't a big fan of the dividers between this classroom and the other classrooms that you see here.  When we passed the library, I also thought about how I met a particular student named Jonathan there.  He was to be instrumental in my life as my years passed there as a teacher.

His Excellency, Bishop Myron Cotta, Auxiliary Bishop of Sacramento, K-Cup 2014 @ SPSV High School

This photo was taken by Norma Belmes, chair of my parish's Vocation Committee.  It is parishioners like her and vocation committees like this that assist parishes in cultivating vocations to the priesthood and religious life.

Unless otherwise noted, my son took all these pictures.  This is the new Auxiliary Bishop of Sacramento, the Most Rev. Myron Cotta.  He's pretty down to earth and a happy priest and bishop.  He's pretty gentle, too, yet firm with what needs to be done to shepherd the flock.  The new auxiliary bishop is the former Vicar General from the Fresno Diocese.  This is my second time to serve with Bishop Cotta.  I'm actually scheduled to serve with him again a third time in a few weeks.  In both homilies that I've heard from him, he has mentioned Our Lady in each of them.  This is truly inspiring for me when he makes reference to Mary in his homilies.

Before Mass, Bishop Cotta saw me talking to my eldest, John Paul, and at that point he asked about my family who were present.  He walked over to where they were sitting to greet them, and I introduced my wife and kids, along with my sister-in-law, Ate Marissa, and her husband who came to Mass.

After he met them, I told Bishop Cotta that we were focusing on building up families here in Vallejo, and I told him that the family apostolate will most likely be my parish assignment.  He looked happy about my saying that we were trying to support Christian family life.

The best thing I can do for the Church as a permanent deacon is to focus on my own family.

It is easier said than done of course.  But that's why Christ elevated marriage to the dignity of a sacrament.  The graces of the sacrament will help married couples live their vocation to matrimony.

I tried to get an extra dalmatic to wear for Mass, and I got the okay to bring the extra dalmatic from the parish.  But I was only able to find one dalmatic when I was there at the parish on Friday, so I just left the one dalmatic at the parish.  And I did not wear a dalmatic at the Mass at K-Cup.

Here I am to Bishop Cotta's right during the Liturgy of the Word.  I chanted the "Kyrie Eleison."  I had to coordinate this with the choir which was from St. Joseph's in Pinole (Oakland Diocese).  I am grateful for choir directors who ask questions from the deacons about what parts the deacon will chant.  The choir director appreciated that I chant the deacon parts as much as I can.

Before the Gospel is proclaimed, the deacon will receive the blessing of the priest typically. 

Many people don't know that there are silent prayers that a deacon recites in a low voice during Holy Mass.  One of those are the words, "Your blessing, Father," along with low bow and the Sign of the Cross while getting the priest's blessing.  If a bishop is the celebrant, the deacon will kneel and ask for his blessing to proclaim the Gospel.

But I wanted to highlight how this was the first time I ever knelt before a bishop before the proclamation of the Gospel.  As I knelt, I said, "Your blessing, Father."  I felt unworthy but had a sense of peace as the bishop recited his words about the deacon worthily proclaiming the Gospel.

Yes, he is a bishop, but he is still a spiritual father, so instead of saying "Your blessing, Bishop," the words, "Your blessing, Father" are still used.

Anyway, the main point I actually wanted to highlight was that as he blessed me with the Sign of the Cross, and as I felt strengthened by his response to my words, "Your blessing, Father," he placed his hand on my shoulder.  It was the shoulder over which my deacon stole was over.

That simple act was so profound for me!  It was most likely unnoticeable to the young adults present.  There was a fatherly love that was present in that simple gesture, and it moved me deeply.  I hope it edified anyone that saw it.  I've written about the hand placed on the shoulder in my journals.  Interestingly, this same act happened during diaconate formation a few months before ordination where three separate individuals involved in my formation placed their hand on my shoulder within a certain week and on on three separate days; and it was a week that I most especially needed this.  It is something I imagine Christ Himself doing to me whenever I have my moments of feeling unworthy of the diaconal office.

In the photo above, the acolyte in cassock and surplice on the right (my left) is Br. Raj Derivera, the K-Cup organizer.  God willing, he will be ordained a transitional deacon soon.  Please remember him in prayer.  He is holding a candle as I proclaim the Gospel.

During the General Intercessions, I had the congregation sing "Lord, hear our prayer" as a response to the petitions I listed.  The deacon brings the petitions of the faithful at this part of the Mass.  I unconsciously started singing the petitions.  I think the congregation singing "Lord, hear our prayer" was fine, but I think next time I will simply recite the petitions but have the congregation still sing "Lord, hear our prayer."  I ended up using a chant melody from the Byzantine rite, and it hasn't been well practiced yet.  It was a learning process for me.

We prayed for the Holy Father, Bishops Soto and Cotta, our civil leaders to enact laws in keeping with God's Commandments, for priests and sisters, vocations to the priesthood and religious life, for young adults in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and the engaged and those discerning marriage, for Christians in persecuted lands like the Middle East and North Africa and South Asia, and for whatever intention was in the silence of their hearts.

This is the Liturgy of the Eucharist.  I was amazed to see all of the young adults present kneel for the Consecration.  Wow!  In fact, I was so amazed to hear these young people singing with their hearts and participating throughout the Mass.  I remarked to my wife later in the evening that the last time I saw a group of young adults so devout at Mass was at World Youth Day.  Yes, the day was like a mini-WYD!

I normally distribute the Precious Blood, but we distributed only one species during the Rite of Communion.  Again, the young adults received the Sacred Body of Our Lord with such devotion and love.  A handful did not receive Holy Communion but came forward for a blessing instead.  I am delighted that they know not to receive Holy Communion if they are not prepared to receive the Eucharist for whatever reason.

Recession

I was truly blessed to assist at Mass for Koinonia Kup 2014.  This annual event had at least three to four dioceses represented.

Koinonia Kup 2014

It looked like the seminarians took 1st Place this year.  Congrats guys!

Well, I am most grateful with everything that happened this weekend.  As I close this, it is a little after midnight on Monday, Sept. 8, 2014, the birthday of Our Lady.

Happy birthday, my Queen and my Mother.  Happy birthday!

5-Yr. Old Asked, "Is Jesus Real?"

A 5-yr. old kid asked me a question right before Mass started.

Last Sunday, I was responsible for preparing his family that had a baby baptized at the noon Mass.  At some point before all this happened, he turned to his parents and said, "Oh, there he is!"  He was referring to me.

Later, he came up to me right before Mass started.  I crouched down to listen to him at eye level.

He said, "Is Jesus real?"

I said, "Yes, He is very real.  And you will meet Him one day."

He listened very intently.  I saw in his eyes how he pondered this.

Then I said, "He is my best friend, and I love Him."

After a few seconds passed, I said, "How old are you?"

He held up five fingers.  I immediately thought of my 5-year old son.  I didn't tell him that I had a son like him.  It could have confused him (since even many adults cannot tell a difference between a deacon and a priest).  I was silent for this reason, yes, but I was even more silent because I stood before a mystery right in front of me.  And it awed me.

Then, Mass started.

How the mysteries of the Kingdom of God truly belong to the childlike!